Oh my husband, my goodness. He is very special at some things, being that he’s a chef, one of the best things he does is cook wonderfully.
Talking …. not so much.
Curtis says he is “issued 500 words a day”, and he needs them all for work, apparently barking ala Gordon Ramsey, who yells at people in his kitchen. Whoa! For me, I do get the occasional word or ten from him, but its pretty rare.
This morning actually, he was driving me to work, he does that some times on his day off, because we don’t see each other often and its a way to connect. I chatter away and he occasionally grunts or groans. Today was a red letter day, I got both grunts and groans, I was telling him about being off work on Thursday and why it is kind of a big deal and he grunted, then he groaned, so in essence I hit the jackpot!
As a female, I have been under that false impression that love equals words from a man, it is my own fault that I put so much value on the need for reflection or context when speaking to my husband. He doesn’t pretend to make polite conversation whatsoever. He is not a phony, he just is not interested in extraneous discourse and my compulsive need for it, is truly misplaced.
So its a process for me of discovering what he is and is not willing to accomodate on. I will probably let this go, its not worth a battle, nothing much is these days. Today is more about enjoying a few moments of peace together and looking at the pretty sky. Curt works too damn hard, he is exhausted and worrying about the next big thing that is coming up at work, it has become a huge burden and is taking a major toll on him. In the past, he was never grumpy, and he is now, most days.
Anyway, if I can help by not pestering him for words he has no time for, then I am doing a tiny part of helping him get thru another long day.
Ching family in about 1998, Maui.