Yes, I had to look it up. I always find it very interesting to encounter a word I am not at all familiar with today. When I did read the definition of knackered I realized yes, that is me, almost all the time. I invariably feel knackered from when I wake up each work day morning imparticular, until I fling myself onto the king size every night, or afternoon if I just cannot stay upright another moment.
I haven’t always been knackered, it just feels like I have, but it is important for me to remember my essentially pre-knackered life. When was that exactly? Lets think about this one, for a moment. As a youngster I would leap out of my bed, pre-dawn, some days and throw myself into whatever I had left off on the night before, it was often music or an art project or rarely school work. I had bloody, serious stamina.
In my 20s I could literally work all day, dance all night at the disco, stay up and party into the wees, sometimes I worked a demanding part-time job after my other demanding eight hour job, or I would go to classes, then party before sleeping a few hours and then, get up and do it all again the very next day!
It literally boggles my mind to think I was able to do that day after day after day, year after year, ad nauseum. When exactly did it all change? Well in the 90s I took custody of a little boy, who was the absolute light of my life, and who seemed to age me visibly. Mom tired, there is nothing like it.
Also I was working twelve hour shifts then, as a hotel concierge in Maui and that was exhausting work and I was in my 40s by this time. Next, I was diagnosed with diabetes, so after my initial, horrendous shock and crying for days, my vigor was replaced with well, not vigor. So it became more difficult to face ordinary tasks so easily, I felt bogged down and indeed I was knackered, I just didn’t know it. I said, hey! I’m tired, oh well, so sad, too bad, no one listened, so I carried on with my work. Waking up tired became de rigueur. I worked on the diabetes, I continue to work when I should be retired today and I deal with feeling tired nearly every waking moment.
Today, I woke up knackered, I will be knackered all day, even when I take my 1 hour noon rest I will be knackered, then I will stay knackered until I get home after 6pm and fall into the bed, knackered. It’s so exhausting.
In other words, I’m knackered.