I got no Zip!!!
I will try desperately NOT to be whiny this weird Monday morning in NorCal. I have 26 more days of work then I am off until late in the year. I do work short assignments when they come up, to augment my paltry monthly income, oh oh, sounds whiny to me. Step right over that for a minute. My pace is slow when I am employed, I do not do much other than work, go home, rest and get ready for work again the next week, just like this last weekend. I did laundry, made healthy meals, cleaned up parts of the house, watched baseball and movies, laid around like a tired person. In other words I got no Zip.
When I was younger, I could literally work all day at the library, go home and rest an hour and then go out at night to dance, maybe even go to a class or work a part time job. That is not happening anymore, in fact I can barely make it through an eight hour day at the job. And it’s not like its hard work, sitting at a desk, doing clerical work and answering a phone for a big elected official.
I watch kids play and wonder how do they do it? They don’t even look like they feel tired at all to me, boundless energy. Youth really is wasted on the young. They do not appreciate how getting older feels, how you slow down, well, how I slow down. It is what it is I suppose. Maybe I am just mourning the loss of my youth and wishing I felt full of energy again.
When I did have zip, I could ride a bike for many miles, swim a million laps, dance all night long, or walk from West Sacramento to my home in mid-town, many miles away. Walking along with a friend, you really notice the neighborhood too, the flowers in each yard, how they smell, sweet and sour at the same time. A unique color someone has painted their front door, or a cheery Welcome sign in a friendly neighborhood. I could swim all day long at Kam III beach in Kihei, where I was lucky to live from 1995-2004. I really did have zip then.
So what am I going to do about it? Since I sincerely want my zip back, I have already started eating better. I am doing the low carbohydrate thing. This not only benefits my weight but it helps to stabilize my glucose, which has been way out of whack for over a year. So for me it starts with eating to live, not living to eat. Big step. And not an easy one either, I am surrounded by food temptations and married a chef, and those things are sometimes counter-productive to trying to eat a balanced, healthy diet. Luckily my hubby chef is onboard and helping me with yummy veggie omelets in the morning and packing me a low carb lunch. He knows what I can and cannot eat on a paleo like food plan. But he is not home a lot of the time so I am left in a house full of crap food on the weekends.
I want my zip back, I need to feel better and be healthier, my diabetes numbers are off the chart and if I do not keep up there will not be a solo rv trip for me at all. Also I am going to need some zip.