Frank the Gorilla

Several years ago a baby was born at the San Diego Zoo. I was lucky enough to visit there when he was a newborn, on a sunny SoCal day, and I went to the Lowland Gorilla’s exhibit to see if I could grab a little peek at the baby boy. The habitat was the first place I made a bee line to and it is a far ways from the front entrance, so it took a little bit of time to find the gorillas. I enjoyed strolling by the other wonderful animal habitats, through a lush jungle of tropical green until I saw, just ahead where these majestic animals are cared for, I walked a bit further to the outdoor public seating area, where large glass windows give an unobstructed view into the lives of some of our closest animal relatives. I walked straight up to the glass, off to the side, where no one was seated (I didn’t want to block anyone from seeing the gorillas). I remember thinking, I want to get as close as I possibly can to see baby Frank.


I kind of put my face against the glass and looked all around, there were large animals and a huge silverback, and then, a flash of fur that bumped into the glass, right where I was standing, a mere inch away from my nose, standing on a tiny ledge inside the enclosure was his face, his eyes looking into my eyes, my eyes looking into his beautiful brown love filled eyes, my Frank. We looked deep at each other, I wanted to cry. We made faces at each other, our eyes smiled. He was calm for the whole minute plus he stood there looking at me, and I did not, could not breathe. I was mesmerized by an 18″ baby gorilla just an inch away from my face. If the glass was not there I would of taken him into my arms and nuzzled him close and said, “I love you”.


Our exchange was finally interuppted after more than a minute by the grunts of the silverback who also could see a kind of energy exchange, our intimate moment that was occuring between his baby and this random blonde woman. Our grinning and winking and smiling finally had to end and Frank scurried away, looking back one last time “to make sure I was real”, OK I made that part up but every other single thing happened exactly like this and I am so glad I was able to share a precious moment with Frank. I will never forget Frank and one day I hope I will see him again, although I won’t hope for it to happen again this way, because afterall it would never be the same.


How do you Measure LOVE?

How do you Measure LOVE?

It is a valid question for me, because love does come in quantities, I love my partner MORE than I love my dog, especially since right now I am upset with my dog. Apparently she has forgotten how to go outside to relieve herself, she is getting older poor dear. Anyway quantifiying love is an interesting concept, so is the ceasing of love. When someone no longer loves someone, where did that bucket of love go anyway? Is it less, has it ceased?

Love is a funny thing, I have been in love before, having multiple marriages is the least way to measure that idea. Do I still love my first husband? No doubt. Does my first love still love me? Not so much anymore, or it has morphed into a “I care about you” measure of love. The fact that we are good friends is a kind of love I suppose, but how do you really measure LOVE?

As a sort of old-fashioned woman I count on the man in my life to be my warrior, my protector, my provider, my man. I love it when a man is a real man, somewhat needing to be in control and dominant, able to make decisions, able to take charge, able to lead. When that happens I can let go and let my guy be a guy, be a man. And I love him more becasue of that ability to give me what I need from him, the strength of character and mentality to be able to listen to me, to love me and to have the desire to take care of me, this is real big love to me. I am not talking about being harmed by a man, I am talking about recognizing a need I have and asking for that need to be filled.

The meme is an exaggeration of course, but not competely, I would surely give up much control in exchange for finding my big bad wolf if he was full to the brim with love beyond measure, for me.